Trevaldwyn, Mehala Mary Whalley: Wickham Family Tree

Generation: 1

Trevaldwyn, Mehala Mary Whalley was born on 3 Jun 1916 in Tanganika; died on 24 Feb 2014 in Royal Berkshire Hospital, Reading; was buried on 21 Mar 2014 in Cremation, Reading, UK.

Notes:

Mehala's name comes from a novel of the early 1900s by S Baring Gould

Josephine's Tribute - taken from service sheet at Mehala's funeral

Mother and father - Ted Wickham, the sone of crickey playing vicar of East Brent, AP Wickham - were living in Tanganika as coffee planters when overtaken by World War 1 and interned in a camp in Tabora in German East Africa where Mehala was born in 1916 and her brother Peter two years later. Ted wrote that they were well looked after, but the marriage broke down and after the war Ted looked after the two children himself.

Mehala remembered the time fondly, especially living in a house with a dirt floor in which one "could make mud pies", but misfortune struck again and her father was killed in a hunting accident in 1922. The two children were sent home by boat in the care of a nanny to be brought up by their paternal grandparents.

This was a sad beginning that marked their live, but the childhood in the Somerset Vicarage seems in many ways to have been idyllic. They had lost their parents but were surrounded by an extended family with many aunts, uncles and cousins.

Boarding at a school where one of the aunts taught [Aunt Stella? Ed] was enjoyed and after that Mehala, always very athletic and a good swimmer, tried training at a PE college but only stayed for a term. She tried a Domestic Science course, but didn't enjoy that either.

Josephines Tribute - 2

The next step showed courage and independence: she spent two years as an au pair in France, one in Bordeaux with a family who were neighbours of the Mitterand family and she helped improve the English of the two sons - Francois went on to become President of France of course - and she developed very good French herself. Photos from this time show Mehala as an attractive auburn-headed beauty with a lively circle of friends swimming and skiing.

Mehala returned to England in the late thirties. She had already met Jack through family friends in the West Country and they married in 1940. Jack was a talented mathematician who had joined the civil service and worked in the War Office and after the war, for the Treasury.

We three children arrived in 1941, 43 and 46 and I am sure life seemed very settled and happy.
In 1947/8 Jack was appointed to the UK delegation to the newly formed Food and Agriculture Delegation in Washington DC and the whole family moved to America.

I am sure it was a very stimulating and interesting opportunity and could have led to a long and valuable career. My childhood memories of this period are of lots os exciting experience away from the austerity of England.

Sadly Mehala was struck by another terrible blow just when life seemed full of promise. Back pain was diagnosed as TB and Jack died suddenly and unexpectedly in the early stages of treatment.

Josephines Tribute - 3

To find yourself all at once widowed with three small children far from home and with no family close at hand must have been terrible and Mehala was distraught, but she was also always courageous and never gave up.

Another loss a few years later was the death of her brother Peter (Peter Wickham died on 29 April 1970) who had a spectacular war time career as a much decorated air force pilot, but who never found his place in civilian life.

We got back from America to the home in East Sheen (SW London) where we had lived before and our lives were made as happy as possible.
Mehala was a super Mum, always open to adventures and excitements that had to be managed on a limited budget.

We ran wild on Palewell Common, went exploring with picnics of jam sandwiches in Richmond Park and climbed trees and made dens all over the place. We went swimming and skating and had long walks on the Thames towpath to Kew Gardens. There were holidays at a litle B&B in Cornwall where I remember Mum painting the glorious colours of the heather - I was very impressed with her skill. We also stayed at cousin Anthony Wickham's cottage in Devon, where Jenny and I both developed a love of growing vegetables (and Anthony got us tiddly on cider)

Josephines Tribute - 4

It would have been sufficient just to raise 3 children on her own, but it was characteristic of Mehala's energy and ability that she was actively involved with the parent association, produced costumes for pantomime and was a member of the Home Safety committee. As we grew older and more independent, she took book-keeping courses and got jobs with local firms as a bookkeeper, then to earn better wages started travelling into London, eventually working with Thomas Cook. She had a responsible job in the finance department as a comptometer operator, the forerunner of the computer systems. Nowadays I am sure she would have held a senior position.

At the same time Mehala found time to follow her political interests. Spurred by Jenny's involvement in CND she joined the local group then the London Region group and was active as a treasurer and fund raiser. Marching from Aldermaston each Easter became a regular family outing, Mum always in the thick of things organising and trying to subdue the more boisterous young marchers. It was an excellent education to us about the need to be active in support of our beliefs and interests. In addition it introduced us to a range of people in the arts and left wing politics that widened our experience and sympathies.
Meeting Vanessa Redgrace, seeing early productions of Brendan Behan plays and Oh What a Lovely War, heading Ewan Maccoll and Peggy Seegar all arose from Mums active involvment.

Her determination that we should all be well educated followed from her family background with a number of distinguished teachers and alsos her experience of the need to make a living. Our careers we owe to her efforts.

Notes on Evelyn Mary Brancker History
from Josephine Wesley, second daughter of Mehala Mary Whalley Wickham

Ted Wickham?s full name was Edmund Hugh Whalley Wickham.
Ted?s younger brother Reginald was known as Rex, his wife was known to us as Molly, our great aunt Molly, who lived into her nineties and had two sons , Anthony and David [who is still alive]. Ted died in a driving accident in Africa just before the 2nd World War and the two boys were brought up by their mother in Somerset as part of the extended Wickham family. David is very interested in the family history and he and his son Rex have a lot of detailed records.

The mother of Ted and Rex, Rose (?) Wickham died young, and our great grandfather, Archdale Palmer Wickham, married again and had three more children: Kenneth, Christine and Stella. Edith Wickham is not a name I have ever heard before.
I believe Mehala and Peter were taken home to visit their grandparents more than once: presumably on the trip in 1925 and also earlier than this as there are photographs taken in England at the Somerset vicarage dated July 1922 .
I have found one photograph showing children having a tea party on what was clearly a ship ? it would be hard to identify individuals but on the back is written ?Rex, Stewardess, Totie? matching the position of three figures in the picture. Totie was the nickname by which Mehala was known throughout her childhood ? I think it is Swahili for baby or toddler. The girl in the picture looks as though she could be about 9, so it could have been taken on the 1925 trip.
Rex worked as an Agricultural officer in (I think) Uganda until his death in the late thirties so he could well have travelled backwards and forwards on leave and taken the children with him.

There are several photographs of Mehala and Peter in England where they appear to be about 6 and 4. In one charming picture of Peter wearing a smock and with long fair curly hair he is holding a small cricket bat and ball.
There are many pictures when they were older children, often playing in the vicarage grounds or with their grandfather, and they always look very happy and carefree.
I can find only a couple of pictures taken in Africa, both taken around the same time. Peter is looking older, maybe 5 or 6, his hair is now cut shorter in a proper ?boy?s style?, Mehala could be 7 or 8. They are with their father and two other adults who could well be Rex and Molly and all appear to be holding small puppies.

I found one picture whose significance I had not recognized before: it is a wedding photo taken in a garden with a younger looking Ted in a smart suit with his bride in a wedding dress and hat, holding a bouquet. The back of the photo is marked ?Wedding Brent Knoll?, so this does definitely seem to be a photo recording the marriage of Ted and Evelyn in April 1914, and is the only picture I have seen of our grandmother.

I remember being told my mother she had a clear memory of living in Africa, of enjoying living in a hut/house with a mud floor where she could play and being disappointed when her father proudly had a wooden floor installed. She retained a few words of Swahili which she remembered speaking well to the servants and her nanny, and she was delighted in the last few years when she was living in the Abbeyfield Home that she could still exchange a few words with the Kenyan care assistants.

She spoke very little about her mother in our childhood, I don?t remember knowing anything about the story until the issue of the inheritance came up, but what she did say was that Peter was particularly upset and remained so. The impression was given that her mother left her father and that an Italian, who had maybe been in the internment camp had been involved. I think she felt rejected.
She did talk of the journey travelling back to England with Peter and a nanny. She had a very clear memory of being met by her aunt Stella, perhaps 15 years her senior, who came cycling to the station to meet them with her hair flying.
There was a strong feeling of disapproval of the marriage breakdown expressed by her grandparents but her childhood in Somerset seems to have been very happy ? the clergy families had a certain social status, generous sized houses and plenty of free time if not much money, so there were plenty of tennis parties, bathing trips etc. The fact that her grandfathers second marriage meant that she had relatively young aunts and an uncle, as well as her cousins, children of Rex, living in the extended family helped to form a large social group.

There is no doubt that the loss of her mother did scar her, but with so little knowledge it is impossible to know the full twists and turns of the story. I am also sure that the early and unexpected death of our father was an additional blow that made it hard to think of her youth and the loss of her father ? all these tragedies may have been related in her mind.

I have not yet put my hands on the document which recounts the story of Ted?s botched attempt to escape from the internment camp ? it is in one pile or another and I will search it out. It shows him as an adventurous but modest, humorous young man appreciative of the kindness of the German officer who on his recapture gave only the most minimal punishment and was concerned about his welfare.

The theme of clergy marriages in the West Country is interesting: Ted son of a vicar marries Evelyn daughter of a neighbouring vicar, Mehala grand-daughter of a vicar marries Jack Trevaldwyn, son of another vicar. Martock, East Brent, Brent Knoll, Marldon are all so close to each other; social life must have been dominated by the county and the church and maybe some marriages took place just because of these limited horizons.